The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Grad School

So, let's start by talking about grad school, that perfect Nurse Practitioner Program. It's all real exciting in the beginning, until you realize that it's a money making machine and there is so much shit and fluff that goes on it's nauseating. I mean really, an entire semester on how to write an APA paper. Hello, I do have an undergrad degree and I did write countless papers. Give me some credit people, if I didn't know how to write an APA paper at this point we have problems. And PERLA is a great program that formats your papers for you...enough said. 

So why may you ask did it take me 5 freaking years to finish this program!!!!! Aggravatingly enough, whether you are in undergrad or grad school (nursing school in general) there are a litany of BS classes (and I don't mean Bachelor of Science). Now, I know this is going to rub some people the wrong way, but don't get your panties all bound up just yet. I think the nursing profession is an extremely noble one and I am so proud to be a nurse, but this is the 21st century and we have come a long way baby! So let me get to my point. An entire semester on nursing theory. Oh the boredom! I totally get why we should have some knowledge of, and appreciation for, nursing theory...but an entire semester! This is covered in undergrad and that's where it should stay! While my professor kept asking which theorist we would be using in our practice, I kept thinking "um, none". Remember when I said 21st century? Healthcare delivery today does not allow you to apply anyone's theory. The only theory that matters is that you talk to your patient, lay hands on them, figure out their major malfunction, diagnose them correctly, and provide whatever they need to go home with...and do it all in about 15 minutes. And make sure you are following Evidence Based Practice and keeping them happy (totally another topic). Got that? So spending an entire semester discussing theorists and writing a Subtruction paper (wtf?) was inherently a waste of time. Not to mention those Benjamin's! How about we spend an extra semester on advanced patho, advanced pharm, and advanced health assessment. Novel idea! How about we don't cram everything into one semester! Let's throw caution to the wind and actually provide students with the knowledge they will need to properly care for their patient population. Nope, not gonna happen. Instead, the powers that be at these fine institutions of higher learning feel that teaching at warped speed is a much better method. Because of this Google and the various apps that I pay oodles of dollars for have become my new BFF's. How about a class in coding (ICD-9 at the time, but now ICD-10)? Gee, that might help me look a little like I know something and generate some bucks. I guess what you should take from this is this: you will learn only a minutiae of what you need to know to be a practicing provider in school. Hopefully, you have gained years of experience as an RN that you can draw from (again, another discussion).  

And let me just throw this out there...you know the ole' adage "nurses eat their young"? Well they do that to in grad school too. You thought you were done with the mean girls? Wrong! These were the original mean girls. While it did not happen to me personally (I am a true believer in staying below the radar at all times), I have knowledge of this type of behavior against some of my classmates. For some it cost them the program and/or a substantial amount of money. My point is to keep your nose in the books, don't be all opinionated, and don't get that target on your back. Maybe my university was the rarity, but I doubt it. I've work with these types too. 

Finally, clinical hours. Honestly, as big a pain in the ass it was, and as exhausted as I was, the more clinical hours the better. You can just write off any thoughts of sleep...this is Sleep Depravation Central. But this is where you will learn and you need to take advantage of learning from experts in the field. And when you're there, don't just follow the provider around. Jump in and starting examining patients and discussing the best treatment options. You will be amazed at what you will learn and retain. 

Good luck and hope this helps!